Journal Entry: July 22, 2008

Believe it or not, I really try to limit the amount of complaining I do on this blog, particularly for ongoing things like back pain and insomnia. Yeah, I mean that, it could actually be worse….

Today, I’ve got no choice, though, because most of my last 24 hours have been determined by back pain. I mentioned doing a lot of housework on Sunday. Part of my reason for doing that was that after three or four weeks of “taking it easy” in the hopes my back would get better, I had seen no improvement. So, I figured, maybe what I needed was to exercise my back more — stretch it out and work out the kinks. So I took care of a lot of little things around the house that had gone undone while I was taking it easy.

By the end of the day Sunday, I was in excruciating pain. Far worse than I had been before. I decided while walking miles through Wal-Mart Sunday night that, fine, I would actually meet with a chiropractor.

So yesterday I scheduled an appointment for after work, went in and got XRays taken and had a preliminary adjustment, and then went home and spent the evening trying not to shout obscenities any time I moved. T– made up some chicken fried rice for dinner (which was delicious) and we watched some Boston Legal, and I went to bed relatively early. In the meantime, I iced my back every couple hours and did all kinds of weird stretches, as recommended by my chiropractor.

Then, this morning, I woke up and couldn’t move. For weeks I’ve been in pain, but it only really hurt when I would move — going from sitting to standing (or vice versa) or folding myself into a car seat. Once I was positioned, it didn’t hurt until I tried to move again. As of this morning, though, that is no longer true. I hurt all the time. Excedrin makes no noticeable difference (nor does the cold pack, but my chiropractor insists it’s helpful). I’m just gritting my teeth constantly and still groaning every time I move.

So I called work and told them I couldn’t make it in this morning, and then T– called my chiropractor to move my afternoon appointment up (to noon), and then I called my regular doctor and scheduled a visit for Thursday (because I couldn’t get in sooner). He wouldn’t prescribe me painkillers over the phone, the bastard.

Anyway, went to the chiropractor at noon, and T– took AB to go grocery shopping at a nearby CVS, so that we could meet afterward at the pizza hut on the corner near there. How convenient! Then I could drive on to work (because the chiropractor is close to my work) and T– could drive home.

Only, as I was leaving the chiropractor T– called to tell me that her car wouldn’t start. Ugh. I picked her up at CVS, drove across the street to Pizza Hut, and had her call AAA while AB and I enjoyed the pizza buffet. Don’t tel K–, but the jumper cables we bought last time I had a car that wouldn’t start are currently sitting on a shelf in the garage. They never made it into our trunks. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Anyway, AAA said it would be an hour (and, in case you haven’t been watching the news, it’s over 100 degrees outside these days).

Bah. That was not a very happy lunch hour.

Afterward, I took T– back to CVS to raise the hood on the Saturn (with a forty minute wait still ahead), and she went ahead and tried to start it, and it roared right up. Thank the lord for small miracles. So she was able to take AB home, and I headed on up to work to salvage a few hours of leave time — I can be in excruciating pain here as easily as I can be in excruciating pain at home, right?

Given my location, it made more sense to just drive south on Meridian than to go back east to get on the highway, so I did that, an two miles down I came upon Reno, and discovered a bunch of my favorite restaurants there! On the Border and Earl’s were the two most important, because that intersection is only 3-4 miles from my work, and I’ve sometimes gone 10-12 miles over my lunch break to get to the next nearest of those two restaurants! I had no idea. So, there you go — another small point of happiness in my day. I think I shouted “No way!” to no one, when I saw the OtB.

Now I’m at work, folded into my desk chair, trying not to move at all. It hurts. I’ll go home in a few hours and just lay flat on the floor for the whole evening, while Boston Legal plays over my head. Hopefully Thursday he’ll give me something to feel better. And I’ll be spending half an hour four days a week visiting the chiropractor, for the next four to six months (plus whatever physical therapy the real doctor assigns me).

Wish me luck. I’ll let you know if anything gets better.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Journal Entry: July 21, 2008

Thursday night, T– went to a church picnic with K– and N– (footage is available on her blog). I wasn’t feeling up to pretending to be friendly with churchfolk, so I opted out. Instead, D– and I grabbed a pizza from Falcone’s, and took it over to B– and E–‘s place.

You know, I really need to spend more time with them. We had a great evening. D– worked on B–‘s computer, I borrowed a couple of books from E–, and we watched Shakes the Clown. That was my first time seeing it. Just…bizarre. Hilarious, but bizarre.

Amazingly, B– failed to get us all smashed this time, so we made it home at a reasonable time without too much drunkenness. I think it was about 10:30 when I got in.

Friday was my RDO. I slept in, then spent the morning working on a writing project (and chatting with my little sister about her book-in-progress). Then in the afternoon I mostly lazed around the living room. T– did the same. We went to On the Border for lunch, and probably went out for dinner, but I don’t remember where. Friday evening just sort of melted by. We finished off Arrested Development, though.

Then, around 10:00, D– showed up and he and I went to see Get Smart. It was everything I hoped it would be. I also rushed home and added Get Smart: The Complete Original Series to the top of my queu on Blockbuster. It appears to come all on one disc. I’m baffled.

Saturday morning T– woke me up at the unthinkable hour of 8:30 so she could go shopping with N–. I watched AB for most of the morning, then D– called and asked if we wanted to go to the bagel place for lunch, and naturally we agreed. I have something against letting T– use our kitchen. I dunno. Right afterward we dropped AB off with the babysitter at our place, then we went up to the mall and got in line for The Dark Knight.

While D– and I held out spot, T– went shopping in the mall and got our niece a birthday present. Then, forty minutes in or so, K– and N– joined us, and a few minutes after that they opened the doors. The movie was pretty much fantastic. An artistic vision. It was dark — you’ll be amazed how much so — but the story was well told.

It was longer than any of us expected, too. We got out of the theater right at 5:00, and we had dinner plans with the Vickis — friends of ours from high school, plus their husbands. We went back to the house and T– got started grilling while I ran to the store for some last minute groceries. By the time I got back, the guests were well installed in our house.

We ate, we talked much and browsed nearly all of T–‘s scrapbooks. Then D– showed up (around 10:00, once again), and we talked some more, then we turned on the Wii and bowled some and golfed some and then we spent twenty minutes browsing YouTube. We finished up with some Christopher Walken from SNL, and it was after midnight by the time they left (and they had a drive back to Tulsa still ahead of them, the poor souls).

Over-socialized and late-to-bed, I slept in and skipped church Sunday morning. D– called and asked about lunch and he and I ended up picking up Taco Bueno for everyone. Afterward he went home for a nap, AB went down for a nap, and T– got on her computer to take care of some work stuff. Free to spend my time however I pleased, I decided (for some reason) to work on my To Do list.

I hung a picture in my office (an old drawing of a red fox that I’ve had forever, that T– had framed for me as a gift), replaced a burnt-out lightbulb outside the front door, cleared out some overgrown shrubs in a flowerbed, sawed some dead limbs out of the swinging tree in our back yard, moved some of AB’s baby stuff into storage in the attic, cleaned up my office workspace, and then enlisted T–‘s help and we hosed down the woodwork on the front of the house and gave it a thorough scrubbing. That last was an amazingly successful project. The house looks a lot better than it has since we moved in.

That list of chores took up all of Sunday afternoon. When AB got up from her nap, we took her with us to Wal-Mart to take care of some business there (shopping for a nephew’s birthday present, and getting a new key to the Tulsa house), and then we picked up some dinner from Popeye’s on the way home. That was an awful experience. They overcharged us, made us place our entire order twice, made us wait twenty minutes for our food, and then gave us the wrong food and none of the drinks we’d paid for. Ugh. Then T– tried to call the customer service number on the receipt, to place a complaint, and found it out of order.

The chicken was good enough, though, and afterward we watched Hot Rod (which I enjoyed more than T– did), and then got to bed at a reasonable hour.

There’s my weekend. We may have some developments on the Tulsa house (nothing to open champagne bottles over, but good news nonetheless), but I’ll wait until I’m clearer on the details before sharing that.

Journal Entry: July 17, 2008

Last night, we met D– and K– and N– at Jason’s Deli for dinner. I had just the salad, which was a pretty poor choice on my part.

Afterward, T– took AB to church, and D– and I grabbed snowcones on the way back to the house. Then we watched Family Guy until T– got home, and then we watched Arrested Development until AB went to bed (and D– went home), and then we watched Boston Legal until we went to bed.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Journal Entry: July 16, 2008

My back hurts, and I’m tired all the time.

I try not to spend all my time on this blog complaining, but that’s a one-two punch right there that can really get a fella down. Ugh.

Last night I got home from work and we went to the gym. The weights area was crowded and, as I said, my back was hurting, so I just skipped that and did the cardio. T– suggested that we do the elliptical machines, since they might be easier on the back (and she was very, very wrong). I found myself falling back into my old pace, though, which is a pretty grueling one. I was impressed to learn I can still keep that up, and in fact my heart rate never got into the red (where it used to stay for 25 of the 30-minute workout). So that was good.

Afterward, I dropped her off at home so she could mow the lawn, and I took AB up to the mall to pick up another month’s worth of protein shake mix, and while I was out I dropped off a check and picked up some dinner. Then we watched Arrested Development until AB went to bed, and then some Boston Legal until we went to bed.

There was an episode all about “On Civil Disobedience” by Thoreau, but they never actually made any reference to it, which thoroughly dumbfounded me. I don’t know if they really did come up with the concept on their own, and are ignorant of the text, or if there are some glaring flaws in his philosophy that they didn’t want to subject themselves to. It was strange, though, seeing such an explicit allusion in a show that almost always names its sources, and then getting only a reference to some anti-Communist piece during Allan’s closing.

I definitely need to reread “Civil Disobedience,” though. It was good material.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Journal Entry: July 15, 2008

Last night, I got home from work and fell asleep on the couch, even with AB running up to me and screaming in my face every three or four minutes. Sometime around 6:00 she did that, and I noticed it was late enough we probably weren’t going to the gym, so I got up and moved to the office and slept another hour.

So T– took care of AB all evening, and she had dinner ready for me when I finally got up — a new pasta dish, that was pretty good. We watched Arrested Development during dinner, then when AB went to bed, T– ran up to Homeland to do some shopping, and I worked on some documents. After she got back, we watched several episodes of Boston Legal, and when we finally went to bed around 11:40, neither one of us could get to sleep. It was a fitful night.

It’s now been a week since I last went to the gym. We’re planning to go tonight, though.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Journal Entry: July 14, 2008

I had a busy weekend.

Friday after work, I stopped in to get a haircut, and my stylist told me she’d been pushing our Tulsa house. She said, by coincidence, she’d encountered five or six people in the last couple months planning to move to Tulsa, and she’d told them all, “I have the perfect house for you!” She hasn’t seen it, knows nothing about it, but she’s been trying to sell it for us. I told her she was doing a better job promoting the house than our realtor.

Afterward D– joined us for dinner at Poblano’s (because Texas Roadhouse kept hanging up on us), and then we all met K– and N– at the Cold Stone Creamery in the mall for some ice cream, then we headed back to our place and watched Adventures in Babysitting — my first pick in our 80s Movies Review.

It went over pretty well. K– was no impressed, going into it, and I never really got a good opinion from him afterward, but for the rest of us, I think it was everything we remembered it being. I enjoyed it, anyway.

That made for a relatively late night. Then Saturday T– and I watched some Boston Legal, D– came over in the afternoon to play some HeroScape, and of course Saturday night we went to see Jim Gaffigan perform at the Rose State Performing Arts Center. Beforehand, we met Toby and Gwyn at Old Chicago and had some delicious (if hurried) pizza. Then Jim was funnier than I really expected, with mostly new material, and it was quite an experience seeing it in person. I basically didn’t stop laughing for about an hour and a half. Good stuff.

Sunday morning I didn’t feel like dealing with society, so I stayed home while T– went to church. There was a pot luck fellowship afterward, which T– and K– and N– planned to attend for lunch, so I called D– up around 11:00 and he and I ran down to Freddy’s to eat. We were back at the house being lazy when T– got home. She put AB down for a nap, and then we spent the early afternoon watching Arrested Development. Then D– and I made a run for snowcones, and we picked up his copy of Hellboy while we were out, and we spent the rest of the afternoon watching that.

As soon as the credits rolled, T– and I ran out the door to get to evening services on time (or, as it turned out, five minutes late). They’re doing a video series on Sunday nights put on by the minister T– liked so much in Tulsa, and they said there was going to be a staffed nursery, so it seemed like a really good idea. When we got there, we found the nursery unstaffed (probably because no kids had shown up in time), so we took AB in with us, but that didn’t last long. I volunteered to watch her, and took her back to the nursery, so I spent most of the next hour watching her play and fetching toys off high shelves at her insistence. Man, that baby can’t really speak yet, but she can jab a finger with true eloquence.

After church, K– and N– came over for chili dogs, and we found D– still on our couch, so we fed him too. We turned on an Arrested Development, middle of season two, and watched that while we ate. K– and N–, who have never watched the series, were not impressed. The rest of us rolled, though, and after K– and N– went home we watched six more episodes, discussing after each how much better or worse that one might have been to show them.

I got to bed around 10:40, and got to sleep some time around 1:00, although I probably spent some time snoring before then.

Then this morning I drove the Saturn to work, because T– had business in Tulsa and we knew the Saturn was having some problems with its tires. Specifically tread separation, and I didn’t want to see T– stranded on the side of the interstate.

You never want to drive on separating treads, but tires aren’t exactly cheap, either, so I probably would have let her drive around town with those tires for another week or two, if I hadn’t driven the car today. I had no idea it was so bad. It was like driving down a rough dirt road, with all the bouncing and jostling. Ugh. So I took my lunch break and ran up to Wal-Mart for a new tire — and learned I needed two, and they showed me the splits on the tires they’d taken off. I was lucky to make it into work this morning without having to change a tire.

So, bah, that’s basically the same problem on both of our cars, within a two week window. I could live without that sort of thing.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Journal Entry: July 11, 2008

No, I did not go to the gym last night. But it wasn’t the sloth that prevailed. It was gluttony.

Actually, D– often picks up Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner for us on Thursday nights, and last night he said he really didn’t feel like waiting until 7:30 for dinner, so he asked if we would be willing to skip the gym. As I said even in my post, I didn’t really feel like going, so it was an easy enough sacrifice to make.

T– built us a new HeroScape map yesterday, but we didn’t have a chance to try it out. I got home from work and immediately got started testing out my new universal remote. I’d done a little bit of the programming at work yesterday, so it only took me about twenty minutes to get it controlling the TiVo and the XBox (which, between the two, cover 99% of our entertainment system use). I spent most of the rest of the night fiddling with it, but the main functionality was there (and awesome) within about half an hour.

Then we ate dinner and watched Arrested Development for a couple hours, and D– said he needed to get home right around the time I was headed to bed, thus the lack of HeroScape. I’m sure we’ll get in some good games over the weekend though.

Once he was gone, T– and I watched Boston Legal until bedtime.

I’ve mentioned some problems getting to sleep over the last week. Well, T– picked up some over-the-counter sleeping pills for me yesterday, and I tried my first one last night. Per the instructions, I took one about half an hour before going to bed (in this case, about 9:40). A little after ten I headed to bed, but I didn’t feel the least bit sleepy. I finally started drifting off around 11:30, but I kept waking up. That went on until 1-ish, and then the sleeping pill really kicked in. I mean, I could certainly feel it working when my alarm went off at 6:00, and 6:09, and 6:18, and 7:00, and 7:09, and again around 8:00.

Ugh. No, that’s not looking like a solution for me. My morning was worse than usual, and my night was no better.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Writing Workshop: Overview of the Storytelling Process

I am working on, among other things, a short guide to writing a first novel, tailored generally around the NaNoWriMo experience. It’s based on some prewriting projects I made up for my dad and sister last fall, and all of the little lectures and lessons I’ve written up since then, trying to share my training and experience with them as they’ve worked through revisions and rewrites.

This morning I got an email from my little sister, asking me some general questions because she’s wanting to try her hand at writing, too, and she hasn’t been part of any of my earlier correspondence. She asked me a handful of questions that lent perfectly to the sort of information I’d been providing Heather and Dad since last fall, and in the process of just answering them, I hit all the basics of the ideas in my little How To book.

I felt like it was such a good overview that I wanted to share it here. This is, in brief, everything you need to know to get started writing a novel.

1. Do you write your novels straight through or do you jump around writing the scenes that are most clear to you then going back and tying them all together?

I generally imagine my books in something of a random order, scenes jumping out to me that would be AWESOME, or whatever. When I sit down to write, though, I almost always write from start to finish.

That’s not to say that it’s the best way, it’s just the way that has worked best for me. A lot of writers will say that if you’re having problems with a particular scene, leave it and go work on a scene that you’re more excited about. I’ve never really experienced that. If I’m having a problem with a scene, it’s basically because I’m having a problem with the overall story, so I have to either force myself to work through it (which is the real trick), or just switch to another book altogether. I usually have 2 or 3 books active at any given time, so that’s always an option for me.

2. How long should a chapter be? Is there any formula for a chapter like there is in a whole novel?
I usually aim for 15-20 page chapters. Dad’s been doing 6-10 page chapters and, frankly, he’s read a whole lot more books than I have, so his target is probably just as legitimate (if not more so). I know Dan Brown (of The DaVinci Code) wrote really short chapters — sometimes as short as 3 pages.

As for what a good chapter should contain, that’s a kind of complicated answer. An easy way to deal with it is to write a full scene in every chapter. A scene consists of narrative (that is, stuff actually happening, not just the writer telling the reader about something, which is called “exposition”), generally occurs in a single place (just like a theatrical scene), and progresses the plot. A plot consists of a series of obstacles that the protagonist must overcome, usually in escalating difficulty and usually in a linear order, so that resolving one obstacle reveals the next, harder obstacle, but also often provides the tools that the protagonist will need for the next challenge. So, given that, in order to progress the plot, a scene should either show the protagonist encountering a new obstacle, or overcoming the one he’s currently working on. You could probably also spend a scene setting up an obstacle that’s going to come later, like showing the villain placing an elaborate trap.

Anyway, I think a chapter should cover a single, whole plot element, just like a sentence conveys a single, whole idea. You could write one obstacle per chapter, or one scene per chapter (where there’s usually 2-3 scenes per obstacle).

Of course, many writers never think about any of this at all. They just put a chapter break wherever the story seems to call for one. Some people try to put breaks at moments of conclusion, so the reader can conveniently put the book down. Others deliberately avoid that (trying to keep their readers enthralled) so they only put breaks at cliffhangers. And, of course, some don’t use chapters at all. As with most things, I say go with your gut instinct for any first draft, and if you want to follow a particular scheme, wait until the rewrite to set it in place. In keeping with that, I usually don’t do any chapter breaks at all in a rough draft.

Instead, I will put section breaks (3 blank lines, to create a gap on the page) whenever I skip time or change the character I’m focusing on without stating it explicitly in the text. Usually, when I’m doing the rewrite, I’ll just pick one of those section breaks and make it a chapter break.

3. What is a good word count for a chapter?

Word count is useful to publishers because it’s consistent from one page size to the next, so that’s why you’ll hear serious writers talking in word count. No matter that your font or font size, double space or single, it always comes out the same.

If you’re using a standard font, double-spaced on an 8.5x11in page, you’ll get right around 300 words per page. Interestingly enough, the industry standard fonts in publishing are smaller than 12 point Times New Roman, and the pages are, of course, single-spaced, and the page size is smaller, and magically it still comes out surprisingly close to the same 300 words per page (in both cases, it’s a little bit over).

So, if you want to, you can just write a book in 12 point font, double-spaced, and compare your page count directly with the page count of one of your favorite books. It’s going to be match up within about 5-10%.

All of that is just an effort to explain why writers use word count, and why it may or may not be useful to you. It is a direct stand-in for page count, though — it’s just more accurate. So when I answered your previous question, “15-20 pages,” that’s exactly the same thing as multiplying it by 300 and saying, “4500-6000 words.”

I could have just typed that sentence in answer to this question, but I thought you might want to know why we sometimes use one and sometimes use the other.

4. What are the basic elements all stories should have in your opinion?
There are several different ways to answer this question, usually with sets of three.

My preferred answer is that every story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. That’s pretty much my definition of a story.

Another set of elements, and a more popular one (because it’s less vague), is character, setting, and plot.

Both of these sets work well together. You use character, setting, and plot, to create the story. It’s not a complete story, though, until it has a beginning, middle, and end.

Let me explain all of those bits.

Character describes all of the active agents within the world. Usually people (but, obviously, not necessarily). A lot of time, we’ll say that the setting became a character, when a stormy moor interacts with the other characters and essentially expresses emotion and seems to have an agenda, or something like that. Usually, though, characters are straightforward. You have dynamic characters and flat characters. Dynamic characters undergo a fundamental change to who they are, during the course of the story. Most of the time, in today’s literature, you want the protagonist to be dynamic. Maybe he starts out as a zero and then he becomes a hero. Maybe he starts out idealistic and full of hope and, even though he wins, he ends up burnt out and jaded. That’s called a character arc. Flat characters, on the other hand, stay the same. These are usually characters with quirky personalities who are just in the story to keep it moving, like sidekicks and comic relief characters, but there have been plenty of flat heroes over time (like Superman, for an easy example — the only way his character could change would be for him to become less good, and nobody wants to see that). There’s lots of examples of very dynamic supporting characters, too, of course. Think Urkel from whatever show it was Urkel was on. Of course, as he changed more and more, he eventually became the main character, but initially he was just comic relief. Also…and this is mostly academic, but many people forget that the narrator is a character, too. Some writers take advantage of that, giving the narrator a distinctive voice or maybe making his description untrustworthy in some way, but most of the time he’s treated as a perfect, impartial historian relating the events of the story. By default, it’s safe to assume that, but that’s still a character description.

Setting describes the place(s) and time(s) in which the story happens. If it’s different from the present-day, real world (such as a fantasy novel or alternate history), setting includes any changes that the author makes. If it does take place in the present-day real world, setting is the individual bits of the real world that the author chooses to put scenes in (and, I suppose, any other things going on in the world that have an impact on the story).

Plot I referenced briefly earlier. A plot starts with a premise, and then immediately adds a major obstacle, which changes the protagonist’s world in some way. This can be good or bad (a death, or a marriage proposal), but it’s got to be significant. People inherently resist change, so as soon as the obstacle is introduced, the protagonist will want to undo it — he wants to find some way to restore his world to the way it was before, so he goes on a sort of quest. There must, naturally, be obstacles in the way. How many times have you watched a movie and thought, “You know, if he just didn’t answer the phone, none of that would have happened.” Well, that’s an obstacle, and without it you don’t have a whole plot, and without a plot you don’t have a story.

Anyway, you generally want the plot to have a story arc, which could be graphed as an actual arc. It’s not symmetrical, though. Usually it starts off with a big jump (that is, the main conflict of the story) then rises gradually from start to climax, then drops off pretty sharply as soon as the climax is resolved (and, with it, the last major obstacle is overcome).

That provides your beginning, middle, and end. The beginning is the part where you introduce the setting, the protagonist, and the conflict that changes the protagonist’s life. The beginning should be short. The phrase we use is “Get in late, get out early.” Start telling the story as late in the process as possible, and stop telling the story as soon as you finished revealing everything needed. The middle is the series of obstacles that the protagonist overcomes along the way, and the climax is the end of the middle. During the climax, the detective solves the murder, or the bride says “I Do” — or, maybe, kicks her cheating fiance to the curb — either way, the conflict is resolved and life can get back to normal. Then comes the end. The end, technically named the “denouement,” is the part where life actually does get back to normal. You can tie up any loose ends, but there’s not really obstacles being overcome or anything — it’s just information dump. Like the beginning, the end should be as short as possible.

5. What could a book do without?

And, the most important part of my answer to this question was in that last paragraph. Get in late, get out early. Don’t spend a ton of time setting up what the protagonist’s life was like before the conflict, because the story is all about his life after the conflict. Now, you do need to include a little bit of information so that it’s clear how things have changed, but you shouldn’t spend chapters on this. The conflict should appear within the first chapter. Whenever possible, it should happen on the first page. That’s my rule of thumb, anyway.

In the same way, don’t spend a ton of time on tying up loose ends. Don’t make a bunch of loose ends. Your only goal in the book is to tell a single story. Keep to that story. Yes, all the minor characters have interesting, rich, full lives of their own, but we’re not talking about that right now. We’re talking about their role in this story, which has nothing to do with who forgot to get the shopping done and whether or not someone’s mother-in-law is a jerk. You can add those sorts of things to “increase the realism.” Don’t. Just tell the story you’re telling.

Personally, I also avoid spending a ton of time on descriptions — of characters or settings. I try to give all the important details (and give it early — there’s nothing worse that reading on page sixty that “she ran her hand through her bright red hair” when I’ve been picturing her as a brunette since page four), and nothing else. People have a natural talent for imagining scenes and people, and that’s most of the pleasure of reading a book. You do need a certain amount of description to set characters apart. Making all the Weasleys redheads was incredibly effective, because it made it easy to remember which characters were Weasleys. And if a character hadn’t been seen in several chapters (or books), she could always say something about Percy ducking through the door, his flame-red hair mussed by the wind, and you remembered instantly who Percy was. (Not that anyone ever forgot Percy, but you can see how it could be useful).

Now, that whole bit is my personal opinion. There are writers who are famous for their incredibly rich, detailed descriptions of scenes and people (Stephen King and Robert Jordan are two obvious examples), and there are fans who love the level of detail they give. Readers vary greatly on this, so I recommend using whatever level of detail in your writing that you prefer in your reading. I prefer only the necessities, so that’s all I write.

Some technical things a book should do without:
“Very.” Never, ever, ever, ever write “very” in text, unless it’s in dialog. Psychologically, “very” has the opposite of it’s desired effect. If you say, “She was beautiful,” the reader thinks, “Hmm. She was beautiful.” If you say, “She was very beautiful,” you see, “very” doesn’t actually add any specific information, so it makes the reader think, “Wait, how beautiful.” Without the “very,” the reader never asked the question — he just accepted the information. But once he’s asking, “How beautiful is ‘very beautiful,'” you pretty much have a reader who no longer trusts the narrator, and that’s the opposite of what you want.

“He Spoke,” “she declamed,” “he roared,” “she questioned,” “he wondered aloud,” “she hollered.” Don’t use those when attributing dialog. Use “he said” and “she said.” When readers read dialog, they skip over the bits that aren’t in quotes. You can pack all kinds of information in there, but readers barely even glimpse it. It’s just the way they work. So all the time you spend coming up with the perfect synonym there just gets in the way. It’s in the writer’s best interest to just go with the reader’s instinct and say “he said” and “she said,” and leave it at that. It looks boring when you glance at the page, and it feels boring when you type the same word over and over again, but to the reader, it’s actually a whole lot easier.

And, finally, helping verbs. Most of the time, when you find a helping verb (or a verb that ends with “-ing”), you’ve got a weak sentence. “She was going to the store” is not as strong a sentence as “She went to the store.” In the same way, “She started shooting some Nazis” is not as strong as “She shot some Nazis.” Of course, there are times when weak verbs are necessary — generally when setting up a strong verb, as in, “She had been going to the store, but then she shot some Nazis.”

6. What is a simple way to make sure my novel doesn’t suck?

Everything I said here. Have a clear, focused story, and tell only the story (not a bunch of extra information), but do make sure you tell the whole story: beginning, middle, and end. Evaluate and control your story arc so that it keeps rising toward an exciting climax — that will keep the readers involved. Use strong verbs, and focus on narrative instead of exposition.

Hmm. I mentioned those two earlier, but they’re pretty crucial in answering this question. Narrative is telling the reader what happened. Exposition is telling the reader about what happened. You could say, “She was kind,” or you could tell a short story showing her being kind. The second is far more powerful. You can say, “Then he went to the store, bought all of the supplies he needed, drove to the bank, and stole a bunch of money.” That’s exposition. Or, you can say, “Sweat stood on Henry’s forehead in spite of the cool afternoon, and he couldn’t stop himself jerking his head at any sound, eyes darting. The cashier watched him, and that only made things worse. Henry took a deep breath, held it for a second, then forced it out slowly and turned down the aisle, searching for something he could use to hide his face. A ski mask, pantyhose, anything. Even makeup would do. This stupid little convenience store was all candy and chips, though, and when he glanced up, Henry caught the cashier watching him in the big round mirror. He bit back a yelp.”

It’s a lot more words, obviously, but it’s storytelling. That’s your goal. And that’s what writer’s mean when they say, “Show, don’t tell.” Focus on narrative instead of exposition.

And finally — and this is of utmost importance — rewrite. Honestly, you can ignore every single piece of advice I gave above, for your first draft. I recommend it. When you sit down to write a story, your only job is to get the story on paper. It doesn’t need to be good. In fact, your first draft will suck. There is no simple way to avoid that. There’s no way to avoid that at all. My first drafts suck. Dad’s first draft sucked. I’m sure Tolkein’s first draft was garbage, and those eleven years Rowling spent trying to get her first book sold, I guarantee you she was rewriting it.

If you try to make the first draft good, you’ll never be able to get it down on paper. You will never finish it. I promise. Get over that right now, before you even put pen to paper. Accept that you’re going to have to rewrite, and just write down the story.

Now, after that’s done, all you’ve got is a sucky first draft. Then you have to have the discipline to actually do the rewrite. It’s fun, though. You can see the change, on a daily basis. When you rewrite, you make your story not suck. You may not have a clear, focused story when you first sit down to write your rough draft. You might not have anything other than a handful of characters, some without names. That’s fine. Once you’re done, you can reread what you wrote, and find out what the story is. So when you go to do a rewrite, that’s when you make sure that you have a clear, focused story. That’s when you make sure that you tell only the story, but do make sure you tell the whole story. That might sound like impossible advice, but once you have the first draft in front of you, it’s a simple matter of pruning the stuff that shouldn’t be there, and filling in whatever holes aren’t covered.

You can do the same for everything else I mentioned, in the rewrite. You don’t have to avoid helping verbs in your rough draft, but when you get to the rewrite, you can look at every sentence and make sure it has a strong verb. Sometimes, in a rough draft, you just can’t make yourself write a scene so you say, “Then he went here and did the next thing, and once that was done, he could finally head to Rio, where the cool stuff happened.” Okay, fine. That’s exposition, and you basically skipped a chapter. During the rewrite, you can fix that. Actually, that’s kind of fun because it gives you an opportunity to do some creative work in the midst of an otherwise mostly technical process.

So, yeah, I’ve given you some specifics, but the real answer to this question, is “rewrite.”

Journal Entry: July 10, 2008

Today, it is six months since we joined the gym. In that time I’ve lost about 16 pounds, increased weights on my core workout three times, and increased my maximum sustained sprint (by which I mean jog) from about 12 seconds to about 5 minutes.

This weekend I’m shaving the beard, because six months ago I didn’t have one, and I want to compare my appearance with some Christmas photos — see if I’ve made any visual improvements.

Obviously, that weight loss number is a lot smaller than I would like. I pulled some muscles and hurt my back a couple weeks ago, working in the yard in Tulsa, and so I’ve been taking it pretty slow since then. I’ve also relaxed my rules on sweets a bit too much, so I’m working on getting back to no more than one a day.

And, of course, I need to keep up my gym schedule. I really don’t feel like going tonight, but I suspect I will. It’s just laziness, after all.

Anyway, last night after work I got home and received my new Logitech Harmony 880 remote. It’s a spiffy universal remote modeled after the TiVo controller, and designed to make complicated home theater setups like ours easy to use. I’m just hoping AB doesn’t hide it somewhere we can’t find it (as she’s done with two XBox remotes so far).

For dinner we met at Subway. My little sister brought her family, and D– drove with us, and we met K– and N– there, so we pretty much filled the little restaurant. The sandwiches were good, though. First time I’ve been to Subway in about a month.

Afterward, while everyone else went to church, D– and I drove over to B– and E–‘s. He asked us to bring some milk, as he was on his way to pick up Kahlua in the hopes of making White Russians. Naturally we obliged, and he repaid us by pouring many, many, many White Russians for us (in spite of frequent demands that he not).

We had a good evening, lots of talking about old things. It was about 11:00 when I got home, and then T– was feeling chatty so I was up until midnight (mostly talking about vampires). When she finally let me go to sleep, I drifted off right away, so at least there was that.

I did not feel great when I woke up this morning, though. I can tell you that for sure.

Other than that, it’s just things and stuff.

Dragon!

From an early age, we’ve been teaching AB about dragons.

My goal is to teach her that she can respond to scary things by being just as scary herself. I’m hoping to focus that on silly or imagined scary things (as opposed to, say, the danger of talking to strangers), but that’s probably going to be a difficult line to walk.

Anyway, for now, she’s too young to get any of that, but she does know about dragons. If you ask her what a duck says, she can tell you, and same for cat and dog and bee and fish (oddly enough), and right along with the rest, dragon.

Every now and then she’ll play dragon, too (usually at our encouragement). She’ll growl “Raar!” and T– will cry out, “Oh no, a dragon!” and then AB just goes wild, chasing her mom around the house and growling at her.

Recently, it occurred to me that, although she had the growl down pat, AB probably had no idea what a dragon was supposed to be. Her books and toys have lots of cats and dogs, but no dragons. So I decided to fix that.

I have a handful of books in my office with dragons on the covers, and plenty of pictures I’ve downloaded to use as illustrations on webpages or games I was working on. So I started introducing her to images, and — even though every artist’s rendering is a little bit different — it didn’t take long before she could recognize a dragon pretty much on sight.

Well, as part of that initial plan to introduce her to them, I wrote a quick email to E–, who is known to be a much better artist than her modesty will allow, and asked if she could be commissioned to make something for AB.

Yesterday, I received this in an email.

(Used with permission.)

Anyway, as soon as I got home, I told AB, “I’ve got something for you!” but she was too busy running around the living room being crazy to care. So I pulled out my laptop (which caught her attention), opened my email to the picture and displayed it full-screen, and then turned it around to show AB.

Immediately, from across the room, she growled, “Raar!” and she stormed over to me, leaned in really close to stare at the picture, and the whole time she’s just growling away.

It was adorable. Big thanks to E– for her work on this (and to D–, who got AB a plush dragon toy, that she loves as well).

I’m proud of my little girl. She’s never yet played princess, but she has the dragon act down cold.